to my future daughter

All of mamma’s friends are having babies and they just so happen to be girls. You’re never going to be lonely but they might bust your chops for being younger. You’re not on earth, or in the making. To be honest I’m not anywhere near ready for you. I’m sitting here with a frenchie in my hand like where you bitches goinnnn?! I’ve got places to see and things to do before you get here, but there are a few things I want you to know when you arrive..

I want you to know that if you play with barbies and makeup I promise to encourage you. If you decide you want a hot wheels and a baseball cap, I will always feed that fire. You are free to paint Princess or Tom boy right across your forehead. You can bake a pie, play house, kill a dragon, dig up worms, what ever allows you to express yourself. None of that has anything to do with femininity. You will always be reminded that “playing like a girl” means playing how ever you so chose.

I want you to know that if you have a bad day it’s okay to come home and cry. You aren’t being foolish or dramatic or “a girl”. Emotions run deep honey and don’t ever try to block their flow. If you don’t cry at all because you don’t feel like it, that’s okay too. I’ve never been a crier myself. You should know though that holding in your emotions doesn’t make you stronger or better. Exposing yourself should never equate to weakness. Emotions are crazy things and you’ll learn to handle them one day. Until you do though “being a girl” doesn’t matter and means nothing, being able to express emotions in a way that you feel comfortable does.

I want you to know that you are not defined by your ability to make men drool, and neither is any other female. Men will drool no matter what. Your ability to make a man whistle while you walk has nothing to do with you and all to do with them. I never want you to feel that your beauty is more valuable than your brains.But if you want to wear that tight dress you also shouldn’t feel limited or that you need to cover up for other people’s comfort. If you want to bare your ankles, wrists, shoulders, thighs, chest, you can. These are not meant to be distractions. They are beautiful and how you dress your body is no one’s business but your own. Never be ashamed to tell someone no. No is a complete sentence, there is NO explanation necessary.

I want you to know that you should always be a strong and powerful women. There are going to be people who want to tell you that you can or can’t do things. They’ll tell you to “act like a lady”. I promise to always be by your side to remind you that is complete bullshit. You CAN and WILL do what ever it is you chose to do with enough will power. You also have the choice to not do what ever you don’t want to. Don’t feel limited in life because  of what the doctor’s hand writing has labeled you on a certificate. I want you to feel validated by being a women. You will never be obligated to cut your dreams short because of your gender. You are not “supposed to be” anything. The CEO and the house wife are both options that are open to you. There is no role that you should play that will make you more or less or a women. You don’t need to make anyone a fucking sandwich, OK? If you want to have a child one day or if you don’t. If you want to go to college or travel the world. If you want to get married or be a swinger, the choice is yours. I only expect you to be smart enough to know what YOU want, not what the world wants from you. There is no such thing as impossible.

Most importantly my love, I want you to know that I am here for you no matter what. I will be here to teach you about all that I know and have experienced as a female on this earth. I want you to know that I will never shame you for your decisions or needing to explore. I will be here to guide you. I promise to try my best in keeping a level and not passing judgment or jumping to conclusions. I will be here to help you learn about yourself. I want you to know that I am here to listen to you forever. I promise to give you silence when needed, but to speak up when necessary. I want you to know that you are not held in a box labeled “Woman”

I want you to know that you are so much more than just a girl.






2 thoughts on “to my future daughter

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